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Today, I’m going to ask you a question: If you had to be a kitchen utensil, which one would you choose, and why?

Personally, I would be a knife. No one tries to put a knife in their mouth; its purpose is clear – cutting things. Therefore, I wouldn’t be licked by people trying to get pieces of frosting; instead, I would be able to assert myself in whatever they’re cutting – be it a cake or a steak. The only downside is that sometimes people blunt or sharpen knives, which could be rather painful. However, forks and spoons get bent too, so I’d still prefer being a knife – a common, plain old knife, not one of those fancy Japanese ones.

Moreover, forks, spoons, spatulas, etc., seem less appealing because they all get placed in high-temperature spots like stoves. Imagine being dumped in a pot of boiling water and oil – that’s what stew feels like. Soup spoons would constantly be burned, and forks would end up tangled in spaghetti, a rather disgusting scenario.

Spoons, being used a lot, get dirt on them, leading to a frequent power wash, and being covered in chemicals. In contrast, knives get washed less frequently, as they are not as used too much. Forks fall in the middle – utilized a lot during meals, but that’s about it.

Another reason I’d choose to be a knife is that I’d have a “coat” for the bottom part of my body – a handle. People would need to be extra careful while handling me to avoid cutting themselves, ensuring I’d be treated with respect. Not like a spatula, which might cut itself while slicing an avocado and end up covered in blood, definitely not a pleasant experience.

Outside the kitchen, I’d avoid being a knife, mainly due to the association with hunting or harmful activities. I don’t want to be a murder weapon or used for surgical purposes, cleaning guts and intestines – that’s too disgusting. Kitchen knives, on the other hand, have their own space and quality, while forks and spoons usually end up shoved into a little jar.

Knives offer diversity – Japanese knives, hunting knives, Korean knives – each with unique skills and uses. People spend time mastering knife skills, unlike spoons, which lack variety, and forks that are only good at twirling spaghetti. Moreover, knives are almost always metallic, shiny, and nice, while spoons and forks tend to be plastic or bamboo, lacking the same appeal.

Oh yeah, before I go, I’d fancy being a steak knife – perhaps not because they are objectively fancier, but they’re popular and used for juicy steaks, which sounds nice. Plus, you get to show off your shiny handle and serrated edges to the other spoons and forks.

In conclusion, the knife stands out as the superior kitchen utensil.

I am sharing a famous quote by Abraham Lincoln: If I get eight hours to cut a tree, I’ll take seven hours to sharpen my axe..

While this is my perspective, everyone has their opinion. I’d love to hear why you might choose differently, so please leave your answers in the comments below. 

See you later!